Brew
Registered: 12/03/05
Posts: 63
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Reply with quote | #61 |
You made that look easy, Brenda! That is good!
Brian's last name isn't mentioned in the book. Alex's Gift was just revealed in the last chapter - kind of a cliffhanger for a possible third in a series.. I brought it out because it was important clue that the Puma Man had been arranging things ever since Brian met Keechie 50 years prior.
Oh, what a tangled web I wove... LOL
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Drosenberg
Registered: 11/26/05
Posts: 787
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Reply with quote | #62 |
Tag line for: The Obvious Answer
Jonathan Weare's inspiration solves the world's energy problem, but the ruthless people plot against him to preserve the global petroleum cartel.
(To be released next month.)
Tag line for work-in-progress: Over the Edge
Alena Garroti risks her career as prime time television anchorwoman and combats society's anything goes philosophy.
__________________
Author of:
No Shortage of Evil
Infusion of Evil
Extension of Evil
Position Twelve
The Hungry Dragon
The Obvious Answer
The Compact Guide for the Creative Writer
http://www.drosenbergsbooks.com
http://blog.myspace.com/drosenbergsbooks |
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Brew
Registered: 12/03/05
Posts: 63
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Reply with quote | #63 |
Hi, David, good to see you again. I just realized that I have read four of the seven books listed in your sig line! Got some catchin' up to do!
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Larryjann
Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 958
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Reply with quote | #64 |
Brew, my stab at your blurb and thank you Brenda for the kind words. The cave was a sanctuary from the brutal realities America had become due to terrorist attacks that decimated millions and cultivated unparalleled evil. A haven Brian learned of from an Indian Spirit Singer 50 years earlier. From the moment she stepped into the cave, 12-year-old Alexis knew she was something special, though she didn’t know the what or why. In the comfort and safety of the cavern, her father enumerated the exodus from Mexico of the Muskogee and Creek peoples 500 years earlier. Bringing with them to Georgia a gift from the Sun God of Aztec maize, and the realization Alexis too had been blessed with the talent of Spirit Singing. Larry
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Larry Evans
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BrendaHill
Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 107
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Reply with quote | #65 |
David, your tags are great. You've used excellent buzz words - plot, risks, combats - to add spice and sizzle.
That's what we all need for ours. Have to have some sizzle in there to stand out among thousands of other tags. Remember, we need to write something to entice our prospective reader to pick up our book to find out what happens - or entice an agent to read further by asking for the manuscript.
Larry, you're right on track with your version of the blurb, but I'm still not seeing conflict, something the character must do in the course of the novel to to preserve his family, save the earth, or whatever.
In my novel, my character grieves for her husband - until she discovers his secret life.
In Rebecca's, three women are struggling between their careers and the men they love.
In Jenny's, her character finds love - and dangerous threats.
In David's, his character risks her career.
What, Brew, in your novel, does your character risk in the crisis? Is there a crisis in your novel, something toward the end that puts your character or his family in danger? A hint of that is what you need in the tagline, something to show the reader that there's something exciting going to happen. Without revealing too much here, can you condense the crisis in one or two sentences so we'll know what we have to work with?
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Beyond the Quiet
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lebrecht
Registered: 11/25/05
Posts: 1,204
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Reply with quote | #66 |
Tag line for The Daughters of Nora Crawford.
Three sisters separated in childhood, reunite as adults in a search for their father and some truths about their past.
Anne
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"Memories of a Forgotten Past"
"Discoveries of a Hidden Past"
"The Daughters of Nora Crawford"
"Simply Poetry"
"Tales From The Heart"
"Confession From A Stranger"
http://www.annelebrecht.com |
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BrendaHill
Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 107
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Reply with quote | #67 |
Hi Anne, nice to see you! How are you?
Good tagline - tells who the characters are and hints at conflict and intrigue, such as, what happened in their childhood to cause them to be separated, and what do they need to discover to make their lives complete?
Questions, questions, questions, which, as writers, is what we want.
Good job!
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Beyond the Quiet
Plot Your Way to Publication
Ten Times Guilty
http://www.brendahill.com
http://www.authorsden.com/brendahill |
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Brew
Registered: 12/03/05
Posts: 63
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Reply with quote | #68 |
Thanks for that, Larry! It's better than what I came up with. Seems I need more conflict... so here are some events
Brenda, there is conflict in Granny Boo, but I can’t seem to incorporate it in the blurb. There are two stories going on – one is Brian and his family in the cave and the other is the “backstory” of Keechie’s ancestors – which is full of conflict. Brian has already had to kill a man (in Keechie) and now, in Granny Boo, has to kill again – this time two men who were chasing them after kidnapping an old friend that Brian had just re- discovered on their first trip into “town”. Every time they leave the cave and go into “civilization” they are in danger. Then there is the wild boar scene where Mary (Brian’s wife) killed in the cornfield. It was nearly upon Brian who had failed to kill it with his crossbow when Mary shot it with her Colt 380. In Granny Boo, five white men discover the cave where Pu-Can (Granny Boo) and her relatives were hiding. They had already killed two of the tribe at the river, and then killed Pu-Can’s grandmother. Pu-Can killed the shooter with the ancient spear that belonged to her grandfather, Bull Killer. The other four white men were killed with arrows and dumped into the river. Maybe the blurb should concentrate more on the Indian story than on Brian and his family… ?? This is more difficult than writing the book itself!
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Larryjann
Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 958
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Reply with quote | #69 |
Brew,
What story are you writing the blurb for?
Is this a continuation of the Keechie saga?
What does Alex's being a spirit singer have to do with the story?
Tune in next week and find out if the Lone Ranger escapes from Black Bart and his gang?
Now a word from our sponsor, Pepsodent. "You wonder where the yellow went when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent."
Larry
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Brew
Registered: 12/03/05
Posts: 63
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Reply with quote | #70 |
Larry,
What story are you writing the blurb for?
Granny Boo - the sequel to Keechie
Is this a continuation of the Keechie saga?
Yes - but I tried to make it a stand-alone
What does Alex's being a spirit singer have to do with the story?
To build the idea that the Puma Man has been working behind the scenes for over 50 years. leaving the possibility for a third in the series.
This is for the back cover synopsis, and the two simultaneous stories are making it difficult.
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Larryjann
Registered: 12/23/05
Posts: 958
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Reply with quote | #71 |
Take Two:
The cave was a sanctuary from the brutal realities America had become due to terrorist attacks that decimated millions and cultivated unparalleled evil. A haven Brian learned from an Indian Spirit Singer 50 years earlier. From the moment she stepped into the cave, 12-year-old Alexis knew she was something special, though she didn’t know the what or why. In the comfort and safety of the cavern, her father enumerated the exodus from Mexico of the Muskogee and Creek peoples 500 years earlier. As her father told the story, ancient Indian spirits sensed an ember of true faith in young Alexis, an ember that would spark the rebirth of a new nation. It was then Alexis realized she had been blessed with the talent of Spirit Singing. A talent that would help lead her family and the country she loved out of cataclysmic ruin.
__________________
Larry Evans
WOW Board of Director
You can find me on line at:
http://www.freewebs.com/larryjann/ |
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Brew
Registered: 12/03/05
Posts: 63
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Reply with quote | #72 |
Larry, I like take 2 even better than take 1, which was very good. Thanks!
Do I still need to get some more of the conflict in as Brenda suggests? There is plenty, but very limited space on a cover... especially trying to cover two stories as the book does.
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Drosenberg
Registered: 11/26/05
Posts: 787
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Reply with quote | #73 |
In his youth, Brian met an Indian Spirit Singer and learned about a secret cave. After terrorists unleashed unparalleled evil and decimated millions of people, survival meant finding the cave and hiding from the brutal realities of life in America. Upon entering the cave, twelve year old Alexis, discovers unique psychological attributes connect her to ancient Indian Spirits. In the glow of campfire, secluded from modern day horrors, her father recalls heroic five hundred-year old tales of the Muskogee and Creek people's journey from Mexico. The stories evoke strange and mysterious feelings and she becomes the Spirits' conduit for wisdom that saves her family and sparks the rebirth of civilization.
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Author of:
No Shortage of Evil
Infusion of Evil
Extension of Evil
Position Twelve
The Hungry Dragon
The Obvious Answer
The Compact Guide for the Creative Writer
http://www.drosenbergsbooks.com
http://blog.myspace.com/drosenbergsbooks |
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rebecca
Moderator
Registered: 11/24/05
Posts: 4,476
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